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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23927017">Nintens Day Off</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mother 1 | EarthBound Zero | EarthBound Beginnings, Mother 2: Gyiyg no Gyakushuu | EarthBound, Mother 3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abortion, Help, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Marijuana, Minor Character Death, Party, Underage Smoking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:33:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,346</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23927017</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ninten goes partying</p><p>this is a shitpost don't take it seriously</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lloyd/Ninten (Mother 1), Ness/Paula Polestar, but its not really important - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Nintens Day Off</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>thanks for reading but why</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I didn't nintend for it to happen! I swear!"</p><p>Okay we're starting this shitshow off with a pun? Okay, whatever. Anyways we arrive at the scene where Ness's body is lying in a pool of blood with car tracks all over his shirt. Ninten panicked and picked up his phone. Lloyd was clearly fucking upset. Like, DEADASS. Ninten thought it'd be a good idea to drive a car despite being 12 years old and Lloyd being 11. Lloyd said that it would be an awful idea but noooooo, Ninten said. It's fun to live life on the edge he said. The black haired boy anxiously tapped the numbers. There was a dial up noise and he lifted the phone up to his ear, hands shaking.</p><p>"H-hello cringe department? I'd li-like to f-file a claim?" Ninten's voice quivered. </p><p>"Wait, he's still breathing." Lloyd had two fingers up to Ness's throat.</p><p>Ninten hung up quickly and raced over.</p><p>"We can't take him to the hospital, we'll be arrested! You know what they do to guys like us in jail!"</p><p>Okay, do you wanna know how we got here? Like, how the fuck did Ninten get a car? </p><p>Anyways it was one cloudy morning when Ninten was saying goodbye to his sisters as they were heading to school.</p><p>"And remember because this is the 80s and there's a huge aids epidemic, don't worry! I'm mom's favorite and no one will ever miss you."</p><p>Ninten then slammed the door shut and went inside. There was no school today, I guess. He flopped onto the couch and grabbed a remote, and watched MTV. </p><p>"There's nothing to dooooooooo."</p><p>He got a phone call from the man, the myth, the legend himself. Ness.</p><p>"Suh dude."</p><p>"The fuck you want?" Ness answered</p><p>"I don't know, you called me, bitchboy."</p><p>"OH yeah uh. got this new anime plot. basically there's this high school girl except she's got huge boobs. i mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers. packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhank-."</p><p>"Is.. Is this all you called me for?" Ninten cut him off.</p><p>"No. Sorry. Anyways Paula is having this huge party and she promised to bring weed since she found it in Dr Andonuts coat pocket. Like, a shit ton of it."</p><p>"Sounds awesome, when's the party?"</p><p>"6 PM. Be there or be gay."</p><p>"Aight." Ninten hung up.</p><p>"Hmmm." He thought to himself. "I should definitely drag along my introverted friend who has no idea who these people with me."</p><p>And so he did. Ninten ran to Lloyd's house and eagerly knocked on a trashcan. And then Lloyd peeked out.</p><p>"Ninten if you got some pregnant so help me god-"</p><p>"No no! I just wanted to know if you wanted to come to a party with me.."</p><p>"Why can't you bring Ana?"</p><p>"I don't think Ana's Christian values will approve of this. Plus you're a nerd, Lloyd. C'mon, nerds don't usually get to party."</p><p>Lloyd thought to himself and nodded, he grabbed a clotheshanger.</p><p>"OKAY BUT OH GOD PLEASE JUST DON'T GET ANYONE PREGNANT"</p><p>Ninten grabbed his hand and pulled on it.</p><p>"Great, let's go c'mon!"</p><p> </p><p>Eventually they got there at 6:10 PM</p><p>Ness opened the door.</p><p>"Come in, assholes."</p><p>Ninten and Lloyd walked in. Jeff and Paula were also there. Smoke was already up in the sky, but no one knew where it was coming from,</p><p>"Hey guys." Said Paula, hitting her vape.</p><p>"Suh." Ninte slumped down onto the couch "So where's the weed and alcohol that's all I came for."</p><p>"Wait till everyone gets here.."</p><p>Now, since the writer of this story really wants to get to the point we'll just have a montage. No wait, this is a story. Well then we'll have a timeskip. Everyone arrives, it's 9 pm and the party is absolutely going INSANE in the Polestar residence. Like, how come nobody reported this to the police? All you could see was flashing lights and the scent of cigarettes was in the air. How come Ninten wasn't dead? And the sound of really raunchy 1990s rave music was blasting. Now, what was Ninten up to? Nothing really. Just holding those red cups you see in the movies. But what about Lloyd?</p><p>"Alright.." He said, with clotheshanger in hand. "If you don't scream, you'll make this not as hard for me." He said to an orange-haired boy.</p><p>"Hey fuckers, I got weed."</p><p>Everybody went absolutely APESHIT. Jeff ran over and shoved a shit ton of it in his mouth, everybody wanted some of that good good kush. Except Lucas. Lucas is a loser.</p><p>Ninten grabbed some weed in hand, and passed it over to Lloyd.<br/>
"Here, try it."</p><p>Lloyd looked at it wearily.</p><p>"Uh- I.. I don't know Ninten."</p><p>"Come on! Just smoke it and have a blast, my dude." Ninten grabbed a lighter and set his and Lloyds on fire.</p><p>"OKAY fine.." They both breathed it.</p><p>At this point EVERYONE was high,</p><p>Paula and Ness were kissing.</p><p>"Wow I can't believe I'm making out with Selena Gomez!" Mumbled Ness<br/>
"Meat bacon meat meat cheese bacon meat meat meat cheese" Said Jeff</p><p>Ninten rubbed his eyes.<br/>
"Heh.. Lloyd.. Like.."<br/>
"What dude.."<br/>
"H-has" Ninten hiccuped "Anyone ever told you y-you're pretty.."<br/>
"Hahahahahhaa..... what? Noooo.."<br/>
"Aw man your eyelashes... I can... I can feel em dude.. They're so pretty.."<br/>
"OH man.. This weed ain't shit.. Hehe I always thought you looked kinda cute.."<br/>
"Oh my gosh.. What if we like.. kissed? 😳😳 That would.. It would be funny, I think."<br/>
"Yeah you're right.. im cracking up at the thought of that.."<br/>
"Wait- Lloyd there's this stupid bitch looking at me."<br/>
"What where?"</p><p>Ninten was looking at a mirror.</p><p>"OH wait.. it's just a mirror.."<br/>
Ninten made a face at it.<br/>
"..Lloyd ill be right back i need to talk to this mirror."</p><p>Eventually, the weed effects wore off. Lloyd was passed out on the couch. Ninten poked him with a stick.<br/>
"Psst wake up."</p><p>"Nnnhn.. Hhhuh?"</p><p>"I need to go home like, right now dude."</p><p>"Wha- Okay."</p><p>Ninten guided him out and he noticed a car.</p><p>"Hey Lloyd, let's go hijack that car so I can get home quicker."</p><p>"That.. That's not really a good idea though-"</p><p>"Psh, so what. C'mon."</p><p>They opened the car door, hijacked it, and they were off.</p><p>Ninten was behind the steering wheel, of course.</p><p>"Man I am so glad I lied about being my Moms favorite, she would've killed me if she actually cared about me being out this late. Hey did I tell you about that time my mom snuck me out of an orphanage by using chlorafo-"</p><p>"NINTEN LOOK OUT!"</p><p>Thud.</p><p>Ninten immediately stopped the car and ran out.</p><p>"OH MY GOD LLOYD, WE HIT A RAT!"</p><p>"THAT'S NO RAT, THAT'S NESS!"</p><p>"WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"</p><p>"WHHYYYY OH GOD."</p><p>They both got on their knees and inspected Ness's sort of dead body.</p><p>"NINTEN! I FUCKING TOLD YOU IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO DRIVE."</p><p>"..." Ninten paused and picked up his phone.</p><p>"Cringe department..?"</p><p>"Wait, he's still breathing."</p><p>Basically all the shit that happened in the first part.</p><p>Ness muttered something.<br/>
"..Kill.. Me.."</p><p>"I mean he's practically dead, Lloyd."</p><p>"Well. There's only one way out of this. Ninten get in the car. I'll drive."</p><p>And they did. Lloyd wasn't good at driving either but he was definitely better. They arrived at a dumpster at the side of the road. </p><p>"Well, c'mon." Ninten hopped out. So did Lloyd.</p><p>They dragged Ness's body, yep he died. They put it in the dumpster.</p><p>Ninten and Lloyd looked in the dumpster, obviously feeling bad.</p><p>"Well.." Lloyd took out a bottle rocket, a lighter, and gasoline. He poured Gasoline on Ness and lit the bottle rocket on fire, tossing it in, there was an explosion, then a fire. They watched it burn.</p><p>...</p><p>"Well. You wanna walk home with me, Lloyd?"</p><p>Lloyd looked over to him, silent for a moment.</p><p>"..Sure."</p><p>And they did. They dramatically walked away from the flaming pile of garbage and a corpse, leaving the car behind. Cue the dramatic music.</p><p>The end.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ok I hope you enjoyed my nonsensical ramble of a story</p></blockquote></div></div>
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